And the beat goes on….

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted (obviously). I am not sure why, I have thought about it many times. I am having one of those ‘this can’t be all there is’ days. My husband (by paper only) is something words cannot describe. At what point does a grown man feel it appropriate to lie about EVERYTHING. Even things seemingly so innocuous? It has been several years that we’ve been married and the thought of ending things has occurred to me several times a week. His mother called and told me if I would just ‘change’ that he would not lie anymore. Yes, that’s right. A grown man can blame his bad behavior on others. Well….I guess in this case he can. His mom seems to think this is an acceptable way to act. So I guess we can surely blame her for enabling his terrible behavior. And that’d be great but she never calls him or comes around. Would it be terrible if I told her she can have him back?!?! Ā šŸ™‚

Loving your children is a wonderful thing. They give you strength to do what you never thought possible. I know my kids have done that to me. I have endured years of a miserable marriage to keep them happy. You might say that it isn’t doing them any good to stay in a bad marriage. I’d tell you there are so many other factors that have led me to this decision. Never judge anyone for why they stay in a toxic relationship. If you must find blame, blame those who cause the toxicity….not those trying to shield their children from more.

At this point in my life, my goal is simple. To make my children happy and have them grow up in a carefree environment that teaches them good values and behaviors. I don’t care if they become rich and famous or have some ‘prestigious’ career. I only care that they are living their life they way they want to.

I know that everyone goes through difficult times in life. Everyone has different life experiences. I love exploring peoples thoughts, feelings, and insights. This is one thing that motivates me to do what I do for a living. People intrigue me. If anyone is reading this and wants to share their life stories and experiences, I’d love to hear it. Maybe we can chat and laugh about it.

Life is a series of events. I know that it’s how we deal with them that defines who we are. I wonder what that makes me for putting up with the things I put up with? Does it make me strong? Stupid? I don’t know. Maybe both.


First blog post

A blog. Who would have thought that I would have ever started a blog? It’s not like I have an over abundance of free time or lack of things to do. Hell, I have kids. A husband. A job. A house. Pets. A Family.I don’t even know where to start. My main purposeĀ in creating this was to get my words out there. Sometimes these words are not appropriate said out loud.

I remember a time when things were much simpler. The problem is that I didn’t know it at the time. I was single, had a somewhat serious job that didn’t require too many extra hours, and no responsibilities other than paying my bills. Then one thing lead to another and now I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, I imagine it could be worse.

I am trying to determine the best place to start. I guess I could start with today. I am a rather ‘ok’Ā paid individual that attempts to use their knowledge towards making the company I work for a better place. Today that didn’t happen. Actually, most days it doesn’t happen. I was turned into a admin/intern. There are days I wonder why large corporations hire such expensive talent only to turn them into mindless robots who just do what they’re told. Did you hire me to actually MAKE A DIFFERENCE…..or did you hire me to carry out your vision as prescribed by you and only you? If that was the case, you certainly do not need someone like me sitting in that chair. Let’s try something new. Let’s try taking other peoples ideas into consideration. Maybe a new way of doing things?